sestdiena, 2011. gada 9. aprīlis




It's only 21 days left till my birthday. And I am starting to make a gest list and as I'm making it I realize that I have very few close friends (3) and only one thinks that I'm his closest friend too. I lose all my best friends because they are tired of me. And I can’t change anything because I don’t know what I need to change. Or I just don’t want to see that something is wrong with me.

OK I know one thing about me that is exhausting – I am naïve and I always hope that in the future all will be better even if I don’t do anything to change things. For example I thought that me and my teddy bear are friends again but I was seriously wrong. How can we be friends again if our past isn’t cleared up? I think that I will always feel empty and lonely inside for rest of my life.


One time I read that people who are internally broken are the brightest and funniest outwardly. Is this statement about me?!?